Introverted and Proud

Me, socialising with some old friends at Christmas
Most people, I imagine, think of me as fairly out going and out spoken. Which is true to a certain extent.

I few years ago, as part of my job I had a life coach allocated to me to me, with 4 sessions paid for by the company. Now, I am not a big fan of this sort of thing, thinking it is mostly hogwash and people who fall for this nonsense need to, well, get a life.

Anyway she asked me to do some personality tests (Myers Briggs, just in case you were wondering) and asked me some questions then went off and wrote a report which we went through in my final session.

I have to admit I was surprised, but strangely comforted by the results.

At the time I was managing a sixty person Contact Centre with another manager, dealing with lots of complaints, managing people issues, going to meetings ... a lot of meetings. There was a lot of talking, all day I talked, and listened, then talked.

Turns out, I'm a bit of an introvert, and the fact I was exhausted after a days work, was because I was having to go against type to get the job done. I had done this for twenty five years.

It was a bit of a revelation to me, I had a bit of a cry, as I suddenly realised I had been pushing myself to be something I am not for a really long time. The report recognised that, for me, being outgoing, friendly and generally positive and motivatey (yeah, that's a word....) was a real effort.

The report recognised I was a leader, and had strong views, which was a relief, because I was and I do, but the people thing, and the standing up and talking in front of people thing, and Power Point presentations in meetings.....all a total nightmare for me.

When I told people at work, they were shocked and didn't believe me, but it rang so true. I was fine one to one, but put me in a big group or in an unusual social situation and I am all over the shop.

If I am honest, I am not that keen on people, I have a lovely group of friends, including some newish ones (people I have only known the last five years, compared to the ones I have know since we went to nursery together), but on the whole the rest of the world can go and do one.

Now, I don't work in the corporate world, I no longer have to put all that effort into being friendly and nice with random people who I think very little of, now I can just be myself and it's a huge relief, I am so less stressed and find life, in general, so much easier.

If it was up to me and I had all the money in the world, I would be at home with a good book and my family, the majority of the time, with the odd trip to the seaside to take photo's and put my feet in the sea the rest of the time - perfect.

Now leave me alone, I need some more me time.

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