Why Blogging is Awesome

I have been blogging for ten and a half years. TEN AND A HALF BLEEDIN' YEARS, that's longer than any job I've held and older than most of my clothes.

I rarely look back but I am so happy I did this. I have just had a mooch about in the archives in my blog and cried and laughed at the stuff in there. (I am also quietly impressed with the quality. I always think each post is a bit crap when I write it, but on reflection, the posts are OK).

Now I know it's no longer on-trend and I should be vlogging and Tiktoking or whatever, but you can go and do one. I hate photo's of myself, nevermind looking at myself on film..UGH!!! Never. Going. To. Happen.

I am also amazed by how much I wrote in 2010, the year I was diagnosed with Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia (CML), whilst continuing to work full time and be a parent to a seven and four year old. (My husband helped a lot).

What I have also realised, is that most of the time I was lying to myself about my healthy life goals and ambitions. During this period I was drinking gallons of wine to hide how deeply unhappy I was in my working life and all the stupid working Mum guilt. I didn't exercise, and I ate rubbish food.

I would tell myself and my blog, that I was just about to get healthy, do exercise, write a novel, etc etc. When in fact all I did when I wasn't working was recuperate from working. I was exhausted because I was working so hard, I had CML and the wine thing, of course.

Since stopping traditional work in 2016 (I managed a 60 head outward-facing Contact Centre) I have just been so much happier. I started to exercise, first tap dancing a bit, then tap dancing more and doing pilates as well. I have the time to cook proper home-cooked meals, for myself and my family. I still like a bit of a binge on wine at the weekends, but I try not to drink in the week. I have a novel I am writing, I just need to finish it. I'm doing a Masters Degree in Creative writing to push me.

My family like having me around more; my husband likes that he doesn't have to make tea every day, my kids like that Mum's taxi is fully operational, and now they are teenagers I feel more engaged in their lives. I was worried they would be embarrassed by their weird Mum with all her tattoos, but instead, they are proud of me and show me off to their friends. Who knew.

I wanted to work full time to set an example of a strong independent woman when actually just being there for them is doing exactly the same. They have seen both sides, working and non-working and can make their own call.

I have also seen my children grow up and become young women. I look back at everything I have said and done with them, and what I have talked about here and they have become amazing, accomplished, ambitious people, whose company I genuinely enjoy. Being a parent is a privilege and should never be taken for granted. Appreciate and respect your kids and they will do the same to you.

Anyway, a thank you to @TaraCain who got me to do this in the first place, and to all of you who have read the odd thing here. Sometimes it feels like you are screaming into a void of nothingness but mostly it is great therapy to just get your thoughts out into the world.

My beautiful grown-up girls and me

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