Today I have rage and I can do nothing to stop it. EVERYTHING is making me angry.
This morning the eldest child's Bus Pass run out and the new one doesn't start until Wednesday. The bus only takes coins or contactless, my child doesn't have a contactless bank card (by choice...?) and we have no cash in the house and haven't done since approximately March 2020/Covid times, because who wants to touch dirty old money these days.
So I took her to college. No relaxing, grounding, breathing, Pilates for me this morning then, because although I work from home and get paid - well nothing - to be at home writing and working on eventually getting paid, I have a structure to my day, a plan and Pilates is part of it.
And as I waited to in the queue of traffic after dropping her off, I wondered where the wire had disappeared to, that connected my phone to the car... and suddenly - BUMP. I rolled back and nudged the car behind me - fortunately no damage done, but Oh My God the RAGE!
Then, before I start work, I have to sort out the younger child's drama exam, with the scantiest of details provided. I have done this before, she is now grade 6, all should be well. NOPE, still a f**king nightmare and a badly organised website, which is really disappointing considering they are a HUGE company and well...RAGE! but I did it, and paid the exorbitant fee for it.
Then, I thought I would investigate where my order from Pretty Little Things is, as the tracking details say the order should have been delivered by 11th May but is also being packed. I go to their website and use their contact us screen - I enter the order details and get this message.
RAGE! - There is no phone number to call just social media - there is only a bot to communicate with online.
WHAT HAS THE WORLD BECOME???
WHEN DID THIS BECOME OK???
And yes, I realise these are first world problems, I know the world has gone to hell - The Gaza strip, Brexit, Covid, everything and my small amount of rage about my day getting messed up is nothing in the big scheme of things. I know that, but I already feel guilty about my white privilege and well just generally and I am supposed to be grateful to be adopted and I am supposed to be grateful that I have the good blood cancer and I am supposed to be grateful for just about bloody everything that wasn't handed to me on a plate although people seem to think so, the things I work really f**king hard for and yes, I am having a bad day. (I realise there is quite a lot there to unpack - today is not the day to do it).
Angry from Birmingham.
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